And the diagnosis is...

HEAD LICE!!!
Ugh!! I'm home again for the next couple of days. Yes, my little one has head lice, probably something I shouldn't be broadcasting, but I'm really pissed. I have no idea where she got it from. Possibly school, which is what makes me so upset, because I pay a lot of money, so she can attend the center, and she comes home with lice. Head lice is SO disgusting, but unfortunately very common. So all afternoon, I have been cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. I vacuumed my entire apartment, fumigated everything that I could, shampooed and combed her hair, etc, etc. I wish she was a boy, so I could just shave her head. After this, I probably will cut her hair. Something short and cute. Hopefully they wont be coming back. However, policy at the childcare center, she cant come back for 24 hours. So I will be home again tomorrow.
But that may be a good thing. Its mid-term week for school, so time to buckle down. I have been really slacking off with my studies, which might turn out horribly with my degree, but its my own fault. I just cant get into working... on school or at work. Maybe its the change of weather, who knows. I think I just get bored with things easily.... not to sure.
Umm, what else... I finally going to a rave this weekend. Its been such a long time since I have gone, I cant even remember the last one I attended. I'm really excited. A friend of mine is doing a live set that night. Which is great, since its been about 5 years since I have seen him play. So that will probably be the highlight of the night. I'll write more about that, after the party. :)

That time of year...

April is rapidly approaching. Its always a busy month of me. The most important day, is my baby's birthday! She is turning three this year. Gosh, how time flies!! It doesn't seem like it has been three years. She has grown up so fast. Last year, we had a family trip to the zoo and a small party at grandmas. This year, we are going to have a pizza party, like we did for her first birthday. I am also going to have a small party at her school, with her little friends there. its funny, this is going to be her first birthday party with friends. :)
So much has happened over the past year, both good and bad. She finally started at a child care center, or to her school. She started potty training, learned how to ride a tricycle. Discovered 'Cars' and skateboarding. Her new favorite movie, "The Devil Wears Prada". She has really grown...and I know she has so much more to do and learn. She's learning her colors, shapes, numbers (both in O'otham and Spanish). She is such a smart girl.

Another post...

Well I thought I should write another post. I haven't written anything in a while, but honestly nothing has really been going on. I had a decent weekend, mostly worked on homework, since I have been slacking off in that department. I also tried to clean my apt. since I'm not going to be home for a couple of days. That didn't turn out so great either. Went to dinner with Kaydee and her dad on Saturday, which was really nice. I know she enjoys the time we have together, as a family. Thought about taking her to the movies, she wants to see the new Ninja Turtles movie, don't ask. I really don't know where she gets these things from. She really likes to watch those I guess Animations show, where the people fight, etc. Its weird, well I should say weird, its just her exploring, I guess.

I'm actually staying at my moms on the Rez for the next week. My sister and her hubby went out of town, so I'm helping my mom watch her kids. God, I'm so thankful I only have one, I don't know how my sister or anyone else with more than one kid, does it. Its so stressful, or maybe its just because I'm used to having just the one. I dont know, but its going to be an interseting week!

But its been nice to be back home, on the Rez. Its nice to sit outside and relax, without looking at neighbors, and the busyness of town. My mom has a trampoline in her backyard, so me and Kaydee jumped around for a while. Then we laid down on it and looked at the sky, bugs flying around and airplanes. It was really nice to spend sometime with her, just one-on-one. Usually I'm so busy with work, homework, or cleaning. I try to spend as much time with her as I can, but sometimes I do have to tend to other things. But I guess its all apart of being a mommy.

Is money all that important???

Ugh!!! I hate when people talk down to me! I know I am qualified for the job that I am in, or at least someone does, that's why I got the position in the first place. I hate it so much when others who are not my superiors tell me how to do my job! I feel like they perhaps think that I don't know what the hell I am doing. God, it aggravates me so much, I know what needs to be done, I have done it. I know where the directions of the projects are going, I have laid all the baselines, etc, etc. I have a coworker who feels that have to direct me and make sure I'm doing things a certain way. And it bugs me, I know where I am on different projects, I know what else needs to be completed. I know what I cant completed, do to lack of support.

I know I maybe young, and yes, this is my first management position. But I feel that I am more than capable of performing successfully in my job. Don't others have confidence in me??? And if they don't why?? or should that even matter, their opinion?? I don't know. I am actually thinking maybe of looking for another job. But I know that I will not be able to make as much money as I do now. But really is money that important?? I used to think it wasn't. But now I'm carry all the bags: home, car, school, kid, etc, etc. And hey I like to spend money, and buy useless things.

But honestly I was happier when I made less money, my life felt full and I felt successful. Now, I kinda dread going to work. It should be exciting and challenging. Its just kinda blah...

A great message...

I received the enclosed message in my inbox this morning. I just wanted to post it, it made me feel so special, it actually made me cry, maybe someone out there might enjoy it too...

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Be fore I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minute s to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

What the F#(K happened????

A couple of nights ago, me and a friend were having dinner and we started to talk about the old raving days. Now I used to be a guess what would be classified as a "Raver". i had the baggie pants, tee-shirts, kid backpack, and of course, Kandy. LOL!! Pretty funny to think about those days now. I attended my first rave in the Summer of 1999. Thanks to my good friend Jim, who took me and introduced me to a scene that would for ever change my life. I instantly fell in love. With the music, people, etc. the whole environment. It was something that I never experience before and I knew that I somehow belonged there. (Maybe it was just the drugs.. haha)
Anyway, my friend recommend a site Living Art, which has tons of old pics from back in the day. So while I'm sitting here waiting for 5:00 to hit, I thought why not..
Damn, where did the time go... Looking at all those old photos, even some where I'm in the background, it brought tears to my eyes. I know, that sounds so corny, but it did. I remember those days like it was yesterday. Partying out in the desert, being the first to arrive, and one of the last to leave, when the sun came up...Watching the sun rise over the mountain, with Trance music blasting in the background. It was something else. I was lucky! One of the lucky ones to catch the end of the last underground desert parties. Before the Ice House, or Nile. Under the stars, in natures arena, it was beautiful.
All those old pics, so long ago. I wonder if some of those peeps still rave. Are the still out there somewhere. Or are they like me, with a family and with responsibilities. And only go party when they can or when there is an awesome DJ in town. I wonder???
The scene has definitely changed, tons of new faces, a lot of new kids.... But the scene is still going strong, I think... But its nice to think about all those years ago, and laugh at all the good times I had. It does bring a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.. But in the end those days, were some of the best times in my life!!!

Friends come and go...

Well its Monday... I hate Mondays. Why cant we work only two days out of the week and hang out for five. Maybe its just me, but its always hard to get out of bed on Monday mornings; for both Kaydee and me. Anyway, nothing much to report, I'm working a presentation for a new program I'm implementing at work. I have to present everything to my boss tomorrow. I hate speaking in front of peeps, but oh well, I have to. The presentation is almost done, just a few loose ends to tie up.
A friend of mine is actually on his way to Miami right this minute, how nice huh?? That is so awesome! Esp. since its getting so hot here. I would definitely like to get away and relax on the beach. Lucky bastard, I'm so jealous, he going to see a lot of cool DJs and party in cool clubs, ugh!! :) I always wanted to do that, lately with all the craziness going on in my life, I kinda thinking maybe i should get away for a while. I have family up in New York, maybe I should go that way. Its just something I've been thinking about.
Anyway, I started school again. I'm in my third week of an eight week session. I;m really close to finishing my degree. I cant wait, I'm so excited to final have that degree in my hands. I can feel that its in my grasp. Then what?? Off to ASU for my Graduate degree in Epidemiology. Your probably thinking, what the hell is epidemiology and why graduate degree. I actually thinking the same thing....

Aloha Festival

Today, I went to the "Arizona Aloha Festival' with my family. It was really cool to see all the exhibitors and performers. Makes me want to go to Hawaii! I should, sometime...
Anyway, spent too much money on stuffs and even cooked a little, literally. It was mad hot out there, the car read a temperature of 103 on the way home. Damn!! I hate hot Phoenix, I need to move some place cooler, maybe Cali?? Something to think about it...
We left the festival about 1:00 and went eat some bomb ass Mexican food at the Matador. It was nice, here's a pic of Kaydee in front of the fountain they have there, we all had a great time...

Me again...

Well I deleted my old blog, because honestly it was pretty boring. You probably noticed the tumbleweeds rolling by. Ha ha Anyway, I wasn't keeping up with it, and it just got old. So here is my first posting in my new blog. I also got a new title and layout; the title seems fitting with all the new stuff that has been happening in my life lately.
Anyway, things will be more interesting, I promise!