These were the words my four-year-old spouted while watching the coverage of the 2009 Presidential Inauguration. I laughed and said "me too, baby". We watched as President Obama gave his oath of office and listening to his inspiring inauguration speech. It was a wonderful moment in history and I'm glad we shared it together!
This is an old entry; finally had a chance to post it. :)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Playing in my head...
Modern Man's Hustle - Atmosphere
Who cares what Jane says? She always spits the same spit
I'd rather kill the radio and listen to the rain hit
Little sister needs seclusion somehow she'll discover it through the pop music
Got used to the feeling of falling, but you’ll never see her following
Bouncing back and forth between the healing and the hollering
Riding the outer ring of your own private Saturn
Thoughts scattered all across the grey matter
Little baby doll she doesn't know what to say to ya'll
The patience is short and of course the pride is way to tall
Break it all smash the past like it was made of glass
Aint no other way to make it last
It hurts to watch Lucy lose a dream
I've had the pleasure of seeing our hero kick and scream
And when she calms down I'll turn the sound down
And put my arms around the little lost and found and I'll tell her that..
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through the simple and the struggle
But girl, you got to understand the modern man must hustle
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through the simple and the struggle
But girl, you got to understand the modern man must hustle
Hush little lady don't say a word
Or the rest of the village gonna know you're disturbed
And if you let them know that you're vulnerable
Then there aint no stopping how far they open you slow
I'm a chapter in your the text book read me like a checkbook
Mistook love at first sight for a sex look
Enough of the blind man's bluff, I want the good stuff
Trying to hookup a full belly and a foot rub
The modern man's hustle I dig it, I shovel
Feed me your troubles and need me to cuddle
Bundle up in my mitten and coat
As cold as it gets I keep your winter afloat
So let the snow fall
She doesn't want to understand why I still come around
She look at the mirror she don't see what I see
She holds no history of how precious she be
Lay your head on my chest, speak of the stress
Kick your feet up and rest, before we clean up the nest
I hate to see you upset it cramps the position
And if you didn't know you better listen
Cause...
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through the simple and the struggle
But girl, you got to understand the modern man must hustle
I had this song it my head for the last couple of weeks... after I really listened to the lyrics, I cant help but play it over and over... makes me think about who I am now -- and who I want to evolve into. I know I am 0n a journey forward, but I know sometimes looking back is not a bad idea.
Just thought I'd throw that up... And hey what girl doesn't like this Atmosphere track. :)
Who cares what Jane says? She always spits the same spit
I'd rather kill the radio and listen to the rain hit
Little sister needs seclusion somehow she'll discover it through the pop music
Got used to the feeling of falling, but you’ll never see her following
Bouncing back and forth between the healing and the hollering
Riding the outer ring of your own private Saturn
Thoughts scattered all across the grey matter
Little baby doll she doesn't know what to say to ya'll
The patience is short and of course the pride is way to tall
Break it all smash the past like it was made of glass
Aint no other way to make it last
It hurts to watch Lucy lose a dream
I've had the pleasure of seeing our hero kick and scream
And when she calms down I'll turn the sound down
And put my arms around the little lost and found and I'll tell her that..
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through the simple and the struggle
But girl, you got to understand the modern man must hustle
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through the simple and the struggle
But girl, you got to understand the modern man must hustle
Hush little lady don't say a word
Or the rest of the village gonna know you're disturbed
And if you let them know that you're vulnerable
Then there aint no stopping how far they open you slow
I'm a chapter in your the text book read me like a checkbook
Mistook love at first sight for a sex look
Enough of the blind man's bluff, I want the good stuff
Trying to hookup a full belly and a foot rub
The modern man's hustle I dig it, I shovel
Feed me your troubles and need me to cuddle
Bundle up in my mitten and coat
As cold as it gets I keep your winter afloat
So let the snow fall
She doesn't want to understand why I still come around
She look at the mirror she don't see what I see
She holds no history of how precious she be
Lay your head on my chest, speak of the stress
Kick your feet up and rest, before we clean up the nest
I hate to see you upset it cramps the position
And if you didn't know you better listen
Cause...
I will show you all you need to know
You must hold on to anyone that wants you
And I will love you through the simple and the struggle
But girl, you got to understand the modern man must hustle
I had this song it my head for the last couple of weeks... after I really listened to the lyrics, I cant help but play it over and over... makes me think about who I am now -- and who I want to evolve into. I know I am 0n a journey forward, but I know sometimes looking back is not a bad idea.
Just thought I'd throw that up... And hey what girl doesn't like this Atmosphere track. :)
Friday, January 2, 2009
I'm back!! And its 2009!
I finally decided to write in my blog again. Its been about a year since I've last written an entry. I have several that I started and never got the chance to finish.... So much has been going on lately, some good and some bad. The past year has been an exciting one, but I'm looking forward to the new year...
Welcome 2009!
Welcome 2009!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
This time last year…
Usually a person reflects on a year in their life around New Years… but today is a significant day for me.
Around this time last year, my daughter was also hospitalized for a skin infection known as cellulitis. She was only two at the time; she spent a week in the hospital, hooked up to intravenous medicines, which were given to her in two-four hour increments. Her leg was swollen with blisters and she would cry every time the doctors came in to check it. We still don’t know what caused the infection, where she got it from and the probability of her ever getting it again. But it was an experience; it was one of the most difficult parental times. She would cry every night, screaming she wanted to go home. She would want to play and be her silly self, but her movements were limited because of the IV she had in her arm. I never left her side; it broke my heart to have my little one be in SO much pain. It was a difficult time for all of us.
She made a full recovery and still has a bit of a scar today. Every time she get a bug bite, I rush her to the hospital, I think the doctors think I’m overprotective, but I don’t ever want to put my baby through an ordeal like again.
Well today is my official first year anniversary as a Health Information Management Specialist. This time last year, I began my first management position within the Health Care industry of my community’s government system. I made it, when I first took this position I was really nervous as to if I wanted to keep on ahead within the position. I know I wrote several posts regarding my hesitance in taking this job and some of the times I thought about giving up. But I made it thru the first year. WOW, I have learned so much about my people, the diseases we face together and the politics that divide us. I learned about possible futures of my people and ways and obstacles that we must overcome to survive. I learned how to take better care of myself and my family. I learned that the 21st century if full of opportunities for my tribe, if we in fact begin to listen and learn. We may learn to overcome the disease that plagues SO many of us. Even if I play only a small part in the big scheme of things, I’m VERY happy to be apart of it.
Lots of other things have changed over this year… some things for the better, some things not to sure if they are actually better… I’ve made a new life for myself and Kaydee. I’ve made new friends, lost some old ones. But in all, I think change is good. I’m thankful for the life experiences I’ve had, both good and bad. And I look forward to all the new ones that await me…
Around this time last year, my daughter was also hospitalized for a skin infection known as cellulitis. She was only two at the time; she spent a week in the hospital, hooked up to intravenous medicines, which were given to her in two-four hour increments. Her leg was swollen with blisters and she would cry every time the doctors came in to check it. We still don’t know what caused the infection, where she got it from and the probability of her ever getting it again. But it was an experience; it was one of the most difficult parental times. She would cry every night, screaming she wanted to go home. She would want to play and be her silly self, but her movements were limited because of the IV she had in her arm. I never left her side; it broke my heart to have my little one be in SO much pain. It was a difficult time for all of us.
She made a full recovery and still has a bit of a scar today. Every time she get a bug bite, I rush her to the hospital, I think the doctors think I’m overprotective, but I don’t ever want to put my baby through an ordeal like again.
Well today is my official first year anniversary as a Health Information Management Specialist. This time last year, I began my first management position within the Health Care industry of my community’s government system. I made it, when I first took this position I was really nervous as to if I wanted to keep on ahead within the position. I know I wrote several posts regarding my hesitance in taking this job and some of the times I thought about giving up. But I made it thru the first year. WOW, I have learned so much about my people, the diseases we face together and the politics that divide us. I learned about possible futures of my people and ways and obstacles that we must overcome to survive. I learned how to take better care of myself and my family. I learned that the 21st century if full of opportunities for my tribe, if we in fact begin to listen and learn. We may learn to overcome the disease that plagues SO many of us. Even if I play only a small part in the big scheme of things, I’m VERY happy to be apart of it.
Lots of other things have changed over this year… some things for the better, some things not to sure if they are actually better… I’ve made a new life for myself and Kaydee. I’ve made new friends, lost some old ones. But in all, I think change is good. I’m thankful for the life experiences I’ve had, both good and bad. And I look forward to all the new ones that await me…
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Yesterday's post...
I decided to take a quick break from my work to write a quick update for my blog…
Work is going rather well… my days are super busy lately, and I end up taking all my reading material home. I really need to get one of those fancy briefcase bag things. I saw one at Target I liked, but I just haven’t had the extra funds or time to go really look for one. Anyway, I like to take my work home with me as well. Mostly the stuff I need to read, but just don’t have the time to at my desk during the day. Anyway.
Yesterday, I got a flu shot; it didn’t really hurt too much or bother me. You know how everyone says, don’t tense up or your arm will be sore. I didn’t tense up or anything, now my arm is starting to bother me a little. I haven’t gotten a flu shot in years, I’m afraid to get shots; I can’t stand the sight of blood or needles. One time a couple years back, I went to see the movie, “Red Dragon” with my boyfriend at the time. One of the scenes had SO much blood; I almost passed out right in the theater. Now that would have been SO embarrassing!! I just put my head down, between my legs and tried to keep my composure. It’s pretty funny thinking of that now; man, I’m a dweeb!
Me and Kaydee are still settling into the new place. Things are coming together a little at a time. I emptied most of the boxes and piled the stuff to sort thru in my office/spare bedroom. I really need to get a couch!! Or something, maybe a big bean bag?? Right now, a friend lent me a chair and I have this old butterfly chair that I’m using. My coffee or side table is one of Kaydee’s toy bins. She has a big Mater blowup chair she sits on. It’s embarrassing a little not to have furniture yet. Friends always want to visit, but I have to let them know, I have no couch, so we have to sit on the floor. I hate that. :)
Work is going rather well… my days are super busy lately, and I end up taking all my reading material home. I really need to get one of those fancy briefcase bag things. I saw one at Target I liked, but I just haven’t had the extra funds or time to go really look for one. Anyway, I like to take my work home with me as well. Mostly the stuff I need to read, but just don’t have the time to at my desk during the day. Anyway.
Yesterday, I got a flu shot; it didn’t really hurt too much or bother me. You know how everyone says, don’t tense up or your arm will be sore. I didn’t tense up or anything, now my arm is starting to bother me a little. I haven’t gotten a flu shot in years, I’m afraid to get shots; I can’t stand the sight of blood or needles. One time a couple years back, I went to see the movie, “Red Dragon” with my boyfriend at the time. One of the scenes had SO much blood; I almost passed out right in the theater. Now that would have been SO embarrassing!! I just put my head down, between my legs and tried to keep my composure. It’s pretty funny thinking of that now; man, I’m a dweeb!
Me and Kaydee are still settling into the new place. Things are coming together a little at a time. I emptied most of the boxes and piled the stuff to sort thru in my office/spare bedroom. I really need to get a couch!! Or something, maybe a big bean bag?? Right now, a friend lent me a chair and I have this old butterfly chair that I’m using. My coffee or side table is one of Kaydee’s toy bins. She has a big Mater blowup chair she sits on. It’s embarrassing a little not to have furniture yet. Friends always want to visit, but I have to let them know, I have no couch, so we have to sit on the floor. I hate that. :)
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Starting Over...
Well its been sometime since I've written in this blog. I have been so preoccupied with the daily trials and tribulations of life, that I've just haven't had the time. Or i really don't have much to say. Honestly, I doubt anyone is really reading this. I guess I just write it, for my own amusement. :)
Well I'm starting over, in all aspects of my life. I thought about starting my blog over, but I think I got some interesting thoughts and/or opinions written thus far, I really don't want to erase them entirely. So here I go with a new post entitled 'Starting Over...'
Gosh SO much new developments. Well first and foremost, I've moved. I'm no longer living with mom, putting up with the random drama. Its sort of sad to say that and probably nothing I should be sharing, but living back at home for those brief months, I remembered EXACTLY why I moved out in the first place. It was nice to not have to worry about some of the responsibilities of running and managing a household. But I had enough. SO now me and Kaydee are on our own once more. Its nice, I have a large place, too big for just us. I need some furniture and a few things here in there but its still nice to have my own again. Kaydee is still getting used to the place, but she'll settle in soon.
Halloween is coming up and she wants to be Ninja Turtle, the blue one. Shes really excited to go trick or treating, but still a little nervous about all the scary things that come with Halloween. So well see how she does. Her dance classes are going rather well, she seems to be enjoying her time with her instructor, Dad thinks she needs to be in something else, Karate maybe. But I still want her to be my little princess.
Its sort of nice to write in my blog again, maybe this go round (my third) I will think of more interesting things to write. Hopefully...so until then...
Well I'm starting over, in all aspects of my life. I thought about starting my blog over, but I think I got some interesting thoughts and/or opinions written thus far, I really don't want to erase them entirely. So here I go with a new post entitled 'Starting Over...'
Gosh SO much new developments. Well first and foremost, I've moved. I'm no longer living with mom, putting up with the random drama. Its sort of sad to say that and probably nothing I should be sharing, but living back at home for those brief months, I remembered EXACTLY why I moved out in the first place. It was nice to not have to worry about some of the responsibilities of running and managing a household. But I had enough. SO now me and Kaydee are on our own once more. Its nice, I have a large place, too big for just us. I need some furniture and a few things here in there but its still nice to have my own again. Kaydee is still getting used to the place, but she'll settle in soon.
Halloween is coming up and she wants to be Ninja Turtle, the blue one. Shes really excited to go trick or treating, but still a little nervous about all the scary things that come with Halloween. So well see how she does. Her dance classes are going rather well, she seems to be enjoying her time with her instructor, Dad thinks she needs to be in something else, Karate maybe. But I still want her to be my little princess.
Its sort of nice to write in my blog again, maybe this go round (my third) I will think of more interesting things to write. Hopefully...so until then...
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Its me again....
WOW!! July 5th is the last post I've done...thats almost two months ago...Sorry!! (Honestly not sure if anyone is actually reading my posts.) I figured its time to do some updating...
Well recent news...I just got back from Las Vegas. I spent three days on a managers work session for my job. It was a nice little get away and it was nice to spend some time with my co-workers on a more personal level. But I have come back with a little less money in my pockets and I also picked up a slight sinus infection. So I'm a little under the weather. I have some photos from my trip, that I'll post up later.
My Kaydence Monster started Combination class on Saturday. She does 25 minutes of tap, 25 of Ballet and 10 minutes of tumbling. She was SO excited and I was glad I was able to make it to her first class. She did wonderful; one requirement for the class was she had to change from her tap shoes to her ballet shoes without any assistance. She did great!! She really seemed to enjoy the class and didn't want to leave. Its my hopes that she's able to get into something that will teach her a lot about how to be responsible, and a little more refined. Not sure if that makes sense, but i just want her to do something she will cherish and enjoy.
Well I'm coming up on my 27th birthday. Three more years and I will be 30!! I don't know what I want to do for my birthday, something fun and different. We'll see what comes up.
There is so much to write in my blog...lots of updates but I need to get ready for the week so I have lots of other stuffs to do... I'll update more later.
Well recent news...I just got back from Las Vegas. I spent three days on a managers work session for my job. It was a nice little get away and it was nice to spend some time with my co-workers on a more personal level. But I have come back with a little less money in my pockets and I also picked up a slight sinus infection. So I'm a little under the weather. I have some photos from my trip, that I'll post up later.
My Kaydence Monster started Combination class on Saturday. She does 25 minutes of tap, 25 of Ballet and 10 minutes of tumbling. She was SO excited and I was glad I was able to make it to her first class. She did wonderful; one requirement for the class was she had to change from her tap shoes to her ballet shoes without any assistance. She did great!! She really seemed to enjoy the class and didn't want to leave. Its my hopes that she's able to get into something that will teach her a lot about how to be responsible, and a little more refined. Not sure if that makes sense, but i just want her to do something she will cherish and enjoy.
Well I'm coming up on my 27th birthday. Three more years and I will be 30!! I don't know what I want to do for my birthday, something fun and different. We'll see what comes up.
There is so much to write in my blog...lots of updates but I need to get ready for the week so I have lots of other stuffs to do... I'll update more later.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Random thoughts...
Sometimes, I think of the past, how sometime I wish I turn back the hands of time. Make things better or make things right. some times I wish things could just go back to the way they were. When we were young and nothing else matter. But I know, we cant. I know some heartaches are unable to be mended. I know sometimes things happen for a reason. Sometimes we have to just move on. And maybe someday we will find each other again. Maybe....
"Beautiful Disaster"
-Kelly Clarkson
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long
He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Welcome home...
Well me and Kaydee are all settled in our place, back on the Rez. There is still unpacking to do, but the moving stuffs and cleaning of the old place is all done. So yay!! no more Casa Grande. But like I mentioned there is still lots more to do. Unpacking is now my challenge; I hope to tackle everything within the next couple of days, so hopefully we will be all settled in my next week!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Things in general:
Well this is my official last day in Casa Grande! Yay!! Saturday is moving day...so its going to be a very busy day! I'm actually a little excited about going home: wow, huh?? Part of me is sadden to leave my little apartment, its been my home for the last year but its a little comforting to know that I will be back at home with my mom. I worry about her living alone as I'm sure she feels the same about me. It will be nice for Kaydee, she can play outside, jump on the trampoline and ride her bike. She loves it on the Rez.
But just preparing for the move has been hectic! I cant believe I have so much shyte. Its funny how you never really realize all the crap you keep until you have to pack it up and move somewhere else. And i never realized how many toys I buy my daughter, until I had to sift through them and pull about less than half of them that she actually plays with.
Other news: California was great! Although my friends' gig didn't turn out how we expected, we all tried to make the most of our time in Cali. The weather was wonderful! It was nice to go outside and be comfortable. At night, it got a little chilly, sweater weather. I had never been to the beach or seen the ocean, so we definitely had to take a trip to Santa Monica Beach. Wow, it was so beautiful. The water was a little cold, I didn't get in (I cant swim) but I got my toes a little wet. It was a lot of fun! We also had a little surprise drive to the forest...haha...it was really cold up in the mountains, but the views of the city were great. Here are some pics from my trip. 
Well there really is not much else to tell...so next time I write, I should be all settled in my new location!!
Well there really is not much else to tell...so next time I write, I should be all settled in my new location!!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
In My Daughters Eyes...
In My Daughter's Eyes
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
When I heard this song from Martina McBride, I cried. I was attending a dance recital for my niece and nephew, a dancer performed this song with her younger sister. I never heard this song before and the lyrics really pulled on my heart strings...
Before I became a parent, I lived, as her Dad likes to put it... 'The Life'. I was a college student, my scholarship paid all my bills, I didn't have to work. I could party until dawn and sleep until noon. All I had to worry about was homework and well that's it... I didn't have a care in the world. But once I found out I was going to have a baby, everything completely changed.
However, I wasn't at all scared. I didn't feel any type of uneasiness or discomfort with the idea of becoming a Mom. I felt like I was ready. It didn't matter what I was giving up, because I thought "Hey, I can handle it, everything will be fine." Little did I know, that little person was going to teach me a very hard lesson.
I had to drop out of school and move home. I gave up the late night outings with my friends, partying until dawn, and my frivolous spending habits. My life completely did a 180, before I even knew what happened. My daughter was born in April of 2004, I was only 23 years old. Now in today's world, this is probably out of the norm, having a child at my age, but honestly I was not ready. I thought I was mature and grown enough to handle taking care of someone. But I wasn't! Now this may sound selfish or I might get slammed or judged for write this, but I didn't feel any type of joy or comfort when I became a parent. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter, she is the only thing that has meant anything to me in my life. She is my world, my heart and soul. But I had to learn to have those feelings. I was pretty much on my own from when she was a month old. I had this little baby, totally depended on me. It was SO hard, I struggled SO much. There were times when i would just break down and cry. This was not the kind of life a imagined me to have. But I did it... I raised her into who she is today. And I raised myself into who i am today.
Now I'm not saying that I'm perfect, that I'm a perfect parent, etc...
Lately, I have NOT been. Lately I have been falling back into my old ways, ways that I had to give up long ago. I know I have changed into someone that people see as not being me. I have been trying to get back things that are long gone. I have been putting my responsibilities aside for my own selfishness. And those that I love have suffered; I have made bad decisions that are affecting those close to me. I have, in my eyes, failed.
But after hear this song, hearing the words this mother expressed about her little girl, made me realize that i have to change, I have to become the responsible, dependable woman that I know I can be. That I am inside, and the woman that people view me as. I must be the mother that my daughter had known these past years. Because like the song says:
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and
I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me ...
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
When I heard this song from Martina McBride, I cried. I was attending a dance recital for my niece and nephew, a dancer performed this song with her younger sister. I never heard this song before and the lyrics really pulled on my heart strings...
Before I became a parent, I lived, as her Dad likes to put it... 'The Life'. I was a college student, my scholarship paid all my bills, I didn't have to work. I could party until dawn and sleep until noon. All I had to worry about was homework and well that's it... I didn't have a care in the world. But once I found out I was going to have a baby, everything completely changed.
However, I wasn't at all scared. I didn't feel any type of uneasiness or discomfort with the idea of becoming a Mom. I felt like I was ready. It didn't matter what I was giving up, because I thought "Hey, I can handle it, everything will be fine." Little did I know, that little person was going to teach me a very hard lesson.
I had to drop out of school and move home. I gave up the late night outings with my friends, partying until dawn, and my frivolous spending habits. My life completely did a 180, before I even knew what happened. My daughter was born in April of 2004, I was only 23 years old. Now in today's world, this is probably out of the norm, having a child at my age, but honestly I was not ready. I thought I was mature and grown enough to handle taking care of someone. But I wasn't! Now this may sound selfish or I might get slammed or judged for write this, but I didn't feel any type of joy or comfort when I became a parent. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter, she is the only thing that has meant anything to me in my life. She is my world, my heart and soul. But I had to learn to have those feelings. I was pretty much on my own from when she was a month old. I had this little baby, totally depended on me. It was SO hard, I struggled SO much. There were times when i would just break down and cry. This was not the kind of life a imagined me to have. But I did it... I raised her into who she is today. And I raised myself into who i am today.
Now I'm not saying that I'm perfect, that I'm a perfect parent, etc...
Lately, I have NOT been. Lately I have been falling back into my old ways, ways that I had to give up long ago. I know I have changed into someone that people see as not being me. I have been trying to get back things that are long gone. I have been putting my responsibilities aside for my own selfishness. And those that I love have suffered; I have made bad decisions that are affecting those close to me. I have, in my eyes, failed.
But after hear this song, hearing the words this mother expressed about her little girl, made me realize that i have to change, I have to become the responsible, dependable woman that I know I can be. That I am inside, and the woman that people view me as. I must be the mother that my daughter had known these past years. Because like the song says:
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and
I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me ...
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Preparing...
Wanted to take a break from cleaning and update my blog. First off, I'm preparing to move at the end of the month. Right now, I'm just cleaning through all the junk I have accumulated here in my apartment over the last year. Kaydee has too many toys to sort through. There is just too much stuff.
Also I'm getting ready to heard out to sunny California!! A friend of mine is traveling out there for a party he is headlining; I'm super excited to go and very proud of him. I'm excited to see the scene out in Cali; its been quite I while since I have journeyed that way. Its going to be nice to get out of the heat from a while, temps here have started to climb. I forgot what it was like to be able to go outside with breaking into a sweat. haha... SO its going to be a fun weekend. I know Kaydee will have a good time with her Dad, they have been needing some time together.
Work is going good, actually, I have been filling up my days with lots to do. However, I think I'm ready to move onto something else. I have been looking at different position within my tribal organization and also other tribes governments. I'm just ready for a change.
Also I'm getting ready to heard out to sunny California!! A friend of mine is traveling out there for a party he is headlining; I'm super excited to go and very proud of him. I'm excited to see the scene out in Cali; its been quite I while since I have journeyed that way. Its going to be nice to get out of the heat from a while, temps here have started to climb. I forgot what it was like to be able to go outside with breaking into a sweat. haha... SO its going to be a fun weekend. I know Kaydee will have a good time with her Dad, they have been needing some time together.
Work is going good, actually, I have been filling up my days with lots to do. However, I think I'm ready to move onto something else. I have been looking at different position within my tribal organization and also other tribes governments. I'm just ready for a change.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Whats new??
Gosh... I haven't been keeping up with my posting. Sorry, for anyone who is actually reading these.
First I'm SO super excited that now Kaydence Leigh is potty trained!!! Yahoo!! She officially got off diapers and trainer pants, except during bedtime, on May 8. Its a great milestone for her, and now I can save some money...diapers are really expensive! She has to be consistent for 30-days before she can be moved onto the next classroom. She is looking well on her way to the 30-day mark! Also she is getting ready to begin her ballet classes. Yes, my little tomboy is going to start ballet. I hope she does okay; she is a really hyper child and I thought getting her involved into something where she can use some of that energy would be great!
June is going to be my last month in shitty Casa Grande. I am going to be moving back home to my mothers. Ugh!! I really hate to! I do get a long with my mom, to some degree. But I just hate the idea of me, at the age I am, moving back home... it sucks. I hope to save up some money so I have a huge down payment on a house or condo. I really hate Casa Grande, I miss the city. So I looking at Tempe or Chandler in about a year, I hope, but living with my mom, it might be sooner!
Like I said, I do get along with my mom, to a certain point. Me and her are SO much a like, that we can be best of friends one minute and then drive each other crazy the next. Being the youngest of four children, I was a Mommy's baby. I always wanted to be with mommy, go with mommy, and please mommy. As I got older, i felt like it was always hard to please mommy. I left like whatever I did wasn't good enough for her. She would always find some snude comment or remark to say and I always felt like I was such a disappointment. I don't think she intentionally wanted to make me feel this way, I think she just often didn't think before she spoke. Honestly she does the same things to me today. I don't know... I'm just ranting again...
First I'm SO super excited that now Kaydence Leigh is potty trained!!! Yahoo!! She officially got off diapers and trainer pants, except during bedtime, on May 8. Its a great milestone for her, and now I can save some money...diapers are really expensive! She has to be consistent for 30-days before she can be moved onto the next classroom. She is looking well on her way to the 30-day mark! Also she is getting ready to begin her ballet classes. Yes, my little tomboy is going to start ballet. I hope she does okay; she is a really hyper child and I thought getting her involved into something where she can use some of that energy would be great!
June is going to be my last month in shitty Casa Grande. I am going to be moving back home to my mothers. Ugh!! I really hate to! I do get a long with my mom, to some degree. But I just hate the idea of me, at the age I am, moving back home... it sucks. I hope to save up some money so I have a huge down payment on a house or condo. I really hate Casa Grande, I miss the city. So I looking at Tempe or Chandler in about a year, I hope, but living with my mom, it might be sooner!
Like I said, I do get along with my mom, to a certain point. Me and her are SO much a like, that we can be best of friends one minute and then drive each other crazy the next. Being the youngest of four children, I was a Mommy's baby. I always wanted to be with mommy, go with mommy, and please mommy. As I got older, i felt like it was always hard to please mommy. I left like whatever I did wasn't good enough for her. She would always find some snude comment or remark to say and I always felt like I was such a disappointment. I don't think she intentionally wanted to make me feel this way, I think she just often didn't think before she spoke. Honestly she does the same things to me today. I don't know... I'm just ranting again...
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Today, she would have been 97 years old...
When I was about 18 years old, I was getting ready to graduate high school, and I was chosen to spend three weeks in Europe for a 'graduation present'. Its was all expenses paid with spending money included; I was super excited and couldn't wait to go.
About two days before I was scheduled to leave, my grandmother became very ill and hospitalized. I second thought my decision to go on my trip and in the end, was told to go. "She would have wanted you to go..." everyone said. So I before I left, I visited my grandmother in the hospital; she was totally out of it. The Dr.s had to strap her down to her bed, 'for her safety', they told us. She didn't recognize me, and kept saying I want to go with him... pointing toward her room window. I was totally freaked out! This was not the image I wanted to see, this was not the grandmother I knew, not the woman who helped raise me... who taught me to be a proud Native American woman, not the strong women who taught me so much. It was so hard seeing her that way, its hard to think about it now...
But little did I know that was going to be the last time I saw her...
My grandmother passed away in June 1999. While I was river rafting down the Swiss Alps, she was going home to see 'Creator'. The whole time I was away, everyone was telling me that she was going to be fine... She was making a full recovery. To this day, i really don't know if she was getting better, or if that is just what they told me so I wouldn't worry. In Italy, I bought her some silk scarfs... and in Paris, I brought her a pic of the Eiffel Tower near a harbor and boat. Little did I know, she would never see any of those things...
When I returned home, all I could think about was, why did I go... why did I leave the one person who needed me there. All I could think about was how I never got to say goodbye. My home life was completely turned upside down... When I arrived home from about a 13 hour flight, I immediately ran to her room... it was empty... only a chair, dresser, and a picture hung on the wall.. that was all that was left. I lost a part of my heart when I went to Europe... I was never the same... I did give my grandmother her scarfs and Eiffel Tower picture. I placed them in her casket, before they laid her in the ground.
Later, after the funeral and everything had kinda calmed down... my mom sat me down and told me something that I still fight with today. Apparently, a couple of days before my grandmother got sick and before my trip... she (my mom) and my grandmother were talking, while they were getting ready for the day. My grandmother had a dream the previous night, she dreamt that she went with me on my trip. She told my mom, that we went on a big boat, over the ocean, and saw SO many things... things she never thought she would see... and the whole time, while she was with me... I never knew she was there. She felt like she was my angel, watching me see these awesome things, and places. She was experiencing these moments though me... and I never knew she was there. God, just thinking about it now, brings tears to my eyes. My mom said she was so excited about her dream, so excited for me about my trip... you could hear it in her voice...
I always wonder if I didn't go to Europe, would she still be here... Maybe if I would have stayed here and helped her... would she still be alive today... I felt like maybe her spirit wanted to come with me so bad...that this was the way to go with me... I always think, maybe I should have stayed... just maybe...
Today, she would be turning 97 years old... God, I Miss her SO much!!
About two days before I was scheduled to leave, my grandmother became very ill and hospitalized. I second thought my decision to go on my trip and in the end, was told to go. "She would have wanted you to go..." everyone said. So I before I left, I visited my grandmother in the hospital; she was totally out of it. The Dr.s had to strap her down to her bed, 'for her safety', they told us. She didn't recognize me, and kept saying I want to go with him... pointing toward her room window. I was totally freaked out! This was not the image I wanted to see, this was not the grandmother I knew, not the woman who helped raise me... who taught me to be a proud Native American woman, not the strong women who taught me so much. It was so hard seeing her that way, its hard to think about it now...
But little did I know that was going to be the last time I saw her...
My grandmother passed away in June 1999. While I was river rafting down the Swiss Alps, she was going home to see 'Creator'. The whole time I was away, everyone was telling me that she was going to be fine... She was making a full recovery. To this day, i really don't know if she was getting better, or if that is just what they told me so I wouldn't worry. In Italy, I bought her some silk scarfs... and in Paris, I brought her a pic of the Eiffel Tower near a harbor and boat. Little did I know, she would never see any of those things...
When I returned home, all I could think about was, why did I go... why did I leave the one person who needed me there. All I could think about was how I never got to say goodbye. My home life was completely turned upside down... When I arrived home from about a 13 hour flight, I immediately ran to her room... it was empty... only a chair, dresser, and a picture hung on the wall.. that was all that was left. I lost a part of my heart when I went to Europe... I was never the same... I did give my grandmother her scarfs and Eiffel Tower picture. I placed them in her casket, before they laid her in the ground.
Later, after the funeral and everything had kinda calmed down... my mom sat me down and told me something that I still fight with today. Apparently, a couple of days before my grandmother got sick and before my trip... she (my mom) and my grandmother were talking, while they were getting ready for the day. My grandmother had a dream the previous night, she dreamt that she went with me on my trip. She told my mom, that we went on a big boat, over the ocean, and saw SO many things... things she never thought she would see... and the whole time, while she was with me... I never knew she was there. She felt like she was my angel, watching me see these awesome things, and places. She was experiencing these moments though me... and I never knew she was there. God, just thinking about it now, brings tears to my eyes. My mom said she was so excited about her dream, so excited for me about my trip... you could hear it in her voice...
I always wonder if I didn't go to Europe, would she still be here... Maybe if I would have stayed here and helped her... would she still be alive today... I felt like maybe her spirit wanted to come with me so bad...that this was the way to go with me... I always think, maybe I should have stayed... just maybe...
Today, she would be turning 97 years old... God, I Miss her SO much!!
Wow, its been a while...
its been about two weeks since I've written a post. Not much has been going on lately. Friday night, I helped some friends out with their monthly event 'First Fridays', in the Downtown art district. It was lots of fun, and even got Cybernetik a 30 minute spot. He did great, I was SUPER proud. I hope this encourages him to get out there more. I know how much he enjoys spinning the DnB and hopefully this is just step one of a great road ahead!! It was also great seeing a lot of old friends that came out to support him. yes, he was loved that night!!! :)
Hum.... what else. Well I have decided to put my education on hold right now. You're probably thinking: again??? But yes, again! My degree is so demanding and right now I think I need to focus all my time and attention on my little Kaydee monster. She is growing up so fast, that i feel like I'm missing so much! A friend once told me that no matter what happens in life, we should always appreciate those that love and care for us. Not to get blinded by success, to value what we do have in life. Its funny, when she first told or wrote this to me, I totally agreed with her. But lately or over the past year, I have become something more that who I really am. I got blinded by money and success. Now, don't get me wrong, I want to be successful in life, I feel that I am, somewhat. But right now, I don't want to sacrifice any more time with my daughter. Its funny, how I wish I would have realized this long ago. maybe things would be different for 'us' right now.... maybe... its something to think about.
Hum.... what else. Well I have decided to put my education on hold right now. You're probably thinking: again??? But yes, again! My degree is so demanding and right now I think I need to focus all my time and attention on my little Kaydee monster. She is growing up so fast, that i feel like I'm missing so much! A friend once told me that no matter what happens in life, we should always appreciate those that love and care for us. Not to get blinded by success, to value what we do have in life. Its funny, when she first told or wrote this to me, I totally agreed with her. But lately or over the past year, I have become something more that who I really am. I got blinded by money and success. Now, don't get me wrong, I want to be successful in life, I feel that I am, somewhat. But right now, I don't want to sacrifice any more time with my daughter. Its funny, how I wish I would have realized this long ago. maybe things would be different for 'us' right now.... maybe... its something to think about.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Getting a little EMO!!
Haha! Now yes, I have noticed things are getting a little TOO EMO around here. Also in my life too!! Yes, I have been on an emotional roller coaster these days. But just sitting here reading some of my old posts...damn, enough is enough! I'm tried of worry about stupid shyte. Who does what, who doesn't do this or that! I'm letting all the shyte phase me! And is not worth it anymore. Its not worth all the stress and anxiety I put myself through. Peeps are going to be who they are, good or bad. Why stress over things you have no control over? (Some once told me that) Things are just the way they are. I really need to just appreciate what I have!
Looking on my life, yes, things are a little hard, yes, I wish I could change somethings, or repair somethings. But it ain't happening, so why fuss over it.
I have a beautiful daughter, loving family, great friends. I have money in my pocket, a roof over my head, clothes on my back and reliable transportation. What they hell is wrong with me?!?
I just need to get over the drama and start living my life. Not dwell on what I can't change, right??
I always try to remember the prayer:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can change and change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!!!"
Looking on my life, yes, things are a little hard, yes, I wish I could change somethings, or repair somethings. But it ain't happening, so why fuss over it.
I have a beautiful daughter, loving family, great friends. I have money in my pocket, a roof over my head, clothes on my back and reliable transportation. What they hell is wrong with me?!?
I just need to get over the drama and start living my life. Not dwell on what I can't change, right??
I always try to remember the prayer:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can change and change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!!!"
Its official, I'm a loser!
Well, I have been toying with the idea of hanging up my scholastic hat and I think I've decided to do just that. Or either changing my major. I love programming, I like scripting, and make things happen on the computer, but it just doesn't seem fulfilling anymore. Maybe is the position I'm in, but its what I want or thought I wanted to do with my life. Things aren't challenging anymore, no excitement, no nothing. Except boredom.
Before I was a Data Manager, I was a Secretary for our tribal Finance department. I really like the job, what I did, everyone was really nice. Its was an awesome job. But I needed more pay so I moved into my current position. I have to admit, I was really blinded by the dollar signs. I saw the opportunity to make more money, and jumped on it. Which looking back on things now, it was probably a mistake.
I thinking about changing schools and possibly exploring Accounting or Business Administration. Accounting is looking attractive, because its black and white. With numbers, you always get an answer, (someone once told me). The answer is in front of you, you just have to find it. Business Admin, because it sounds good. My tribe is growing economically, and going on in various business ventures. I would definitely like to be apart of that! I have this feeling that our tribe is going to be very profitable within the new stuffs that they are going to be going in on. But we have to wait and see.
This may all just be me talking out my ass, but I'm seriously considering changing things. I don't know, well just have to see what comes up...
Before I was a Data Manager, I was a Secretary for our tribal Finance department. I really like the job, what I did, everyone was really nice. Its was an awesome job. But I needed more pay so I moved into my current position. I have to admit, I was really blinded by the dollar signs. I saw the opportunity to make more money, and jumped on it. Which looking back on things now, it was probably a mistake.
I thinking about changing schools and possibly exploring Accounting or Business Administration. Accounting is looking attractive, because its black and white. With numbers, you always get an answer, (someone once told me). The answer is in front of you, you just have to find it. Business Admin, because it sounds good. My tribe is growing economically, and going on in various business ventures. I would definitely like to be apart of that! I have this feeling that our tribe is going to be very profitable within the new stuffs that they are going to be going in on. But we have to wait and see.
This may all just be me talking out my ass, but I'm seriously considering changing things. I don't know, well just have to see what comes up...
Friday, April 20, 2007
Who gives a shit???
Its funny how you think you know everything. Its funny how you think your life is going the way it needs to, that everything and everyone in it, is SO awesome. Then something or someone gets thrown into or out of the mix and everything falls apart. Everything and everyone you thought meant anything to you, doesn't give a shyte about you now. Its funny how they never called before and now they want to be your best friend. Its funny how before they were your best friend, and now you never hear from them. Its funny how someone claims to be your best friend and now, they are the ones that cause you the most pain. Its funny how those that claim to be your family, don't give two thoughts about you now. And those that are new to your life, seem to be the only ones that truly understand you.
Where is all this coming from?? If you really know me, and even care, then you know.
Sometimes I feel like giving it all up, in someways I have. Those that I thought would always be there, were some of the first to give up on me. Its hard to deal with sometimes. Moving forward... but she makes it all worth it, my little one is the only bright light in my world. She is what gets me through the rough times. Its funny how, all of them are turning their backs on me, (I hope they know) they are doing the same thing to her. Those that TRULY love and care for her, have been there for us, all these years!! And the one who should've been the one to stand by us, is running forward with their life, moving forward with others. While me and her sit here, wondering if we even matter to anyone.
But she is my world and always will be!! The only person that has meant anything to me. I do everything for her, she is what gets me up every morning, making her world the best I can is the only priority to me! Its hard... really hard; doing it all on my own. But she is worth it, her happiness is what only matters, now!
Where is all this coming from?? If you really know me, and even care, then you know.
Sometimes I feel like giving it all up, in someways I have. Those that I thought would always be there, were some of the first to give up on me. Its hard to deal with sometimes. Moving forward... but she makes it all worth it, my little one is the only bright light in my world. She is what gets me through the rough times. Its funny how, all of them are turning their backs on me, (I hope they know) they are doing the same thing to her. Those that TRULY love and care for her, have been there for us, all these years!! And the one who should've been the one to stand by us, is running forward with their life, moving forward with others. While me and her sit here, wondering if we even matter to anyone.
But she is my world and always will be!! The only person that has meant anything to me. I do everything for her, she is what gets me up every morning, making her world the best I can is the only priority to me! Its hard... really hard; doing it all on my own. But she is worth it, her happiness is what only matters, now!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Random thoughts...
I thought I posted this, but I guess I forgot to...
A couple of days ago, my sister attended a funeral for a co-workers daughter. Apparently the girl had committed suicide; she was only 11 years old. Hearing this, makes me feel so upset. What can possibly be going on to make this child (yes, shes a child) take her own life? I mean 11 years old, that's like fifth grade, she didn't even know what is was like to live! it really saddens me!
I have a niece that's 10 years old. Shes my baby, she was the first of my nieces and nephews, the first baby I was around and helped raise. I don't know what any of my family would do if something happened to her. I love her like my own, she is...like I said, my baby. Its hard to image what could going through this young girls head, that would make her think, that leaving this world is the only way out. It saddens me to think, that there are probably other young kids thinking the same thing. What is happening to our society, that our CHILDREN are choosing to leave us. I look at my daughter, and think, what is the world going to be like when she is 11 years old? Its crazy.
Now, I have to admit, I have had my own personal issues. I have had several occasions, where I too, have fallen short. (You could say) And have thought things too. Not until I was older, high school maybe. But at 11, I was just a kid, enjoying playing with my sister and my cat and going to school, playing in the school band. Its just SO sad that now, young kids are in trouble.
But sadly, this is not the first occurrence of someone this young taking their own life around here. I remember a couple of years back, another child did the same thing. And I think another one a couple of weeks after that. What is happening here??? What is going on??? And is there any way to stop this from happening again?? So many questions come into my mind... what could I do as a parent, to help these kids, or my own kid from walking down the same path?
Its really scary, to think about stuffs like that... hmmm. But really what could be done? Anything??
A couple of days ago, my sister attended a funeral for a co-workers daughter. Apparently the girl had committed suicide; she was only 11 years old. Hearing this, makes me feel so upset. What can possibly be going on to make this child (yes, shes a child) take her own life? I mean 11 years old, that's like fifth grade, she didn't even know what is was like to live! it really saddens me!
I have a niece that's 10 years old. Shes my baby, she was the first of my nieces and nephews, the first baby I was around and helped raise. I don't know what any of my family would do if something happened to her. I love her like my own, she is...like I said, my baby. Its hard to image what could going through this young girls head, that would make her think, that leaving this world is the only way out. It saddens me to think, that there are probably other young kids thinking the same thing. What is happening to our society, that our CHILDREN are choosing to leave us. I look at my daughter, and think, what is the world going to be like when she is 11 years old? Its crazy.
Now, I have to admit, I have had my own personal issues. I have had several occasions, where I too, have fallen short. (You could say) And have thought things too. Not until I was older, high school maybe. But at 11, I was just a kid, enjoying playing with my sister and my cat and going to school, playing in the school band. Its just SO sad that now, young kids are in trouble.
But sadly, this is not the first occurrence of someone this young taking their own life around here. I remember a couple of years back, another child did the same thing. And I think another one a couple of weeks after that. What is happening here??? What is going on??? And is there any way to stop this from happening again?? So many questions come into my mind... what could I do as a parent, to help these kids, or my own kid from walking down the same path?
Its really scary, to think about stuffs like that... hmmm. But really what could be done? Anything??
~What a weekend!!~
My weekend started off decent. Had some Cheesecake Factory Friday night! Yummy! I have been craving some Cheesecake factory, their club sandwich is the BOMB!! And their 'JWs lemonade' is rather tasty too!
Saturday, was a little down hill. I ended up getting the worst hair cut of my life!! I usually go to 'Toni & Guy' hair salon. Its a little pricey, but I like to have peeps cut my hair what know what they are doing. However, such as NOT the case!! My usual girl was out, so I ended up with someone else! It took two freakin hours to cut my hair; the girl didn't know what to do. I didn't think it was that difficult. She kept having to ask one else how to do this, or that. Its was awful!! The cut came out as best it could, but its really short. The manager gave me my cut at 20% discount. So I was somewhat satisfied. But I guess I have to find another place to cut my hair. I was pissed!
Sunday, was a good day. its was my little girls birthday party. I like to have her parties at Peter Piper Pizza, less hassle. They cook all the food, decorate and entertain the kids. I just have to show up, serve the food and cake, and pay. They also clean up, added bonus. The party went good, Kaydee really enjoyed herself. I didn't get to see her much during the party, she was out playing with her cousins. She had a great time. Her father and I got her a kids digital camera and tricycle. She loved them both and has been taking lots of pictures. I want to make a little slide show titled: "The World Thru the Eyes of Kaydee". Maybe I have a future photographer on my hands. I think she is going to be something like that, artistic. She really enjoys drawing, and dancing. Nothing like me, I couldn't draw anything to save my life. And I don't have any type of rhythm and balance for dancing.
Its funny how we want our children to somehow follow in our footsteps. I try to get Kaydee interactive with the computer, but no go. Sadly she doesn't seem to interested in it, unlike me when I was younger. Any time I had and a computer was nearby, I was on it. Its funny to think about that now, I would just look at encyclopedias, dictionaries, play OregoTrail, whatever I could. (Yes, this was before the Internet). Wow, so long ago.
Saturday, was a little down hill. I ended up getting the worst hair cut of my life!! I usually go to 'Toni & Guy' hair salon. Its a little pricey, but I like to have peeps cut my hair what know what they are doing. However, such as NOT the case!! My usual girl was out, so I ended up with someone else! It took two freakin hours to cut my hair; the girl didn't know what to do. I didn't think it was that difficult. She kept having to ask one else how to do this, or that. Its was awful!! The cut came out as best it could, but its really short. The manager gave me my cut at 20% discount. So I was somewhat satisfied. But I guess I have to find another place to cut my hair. I was pissed!
Sunday, was a good day. its was my little girls birthday party. I like to have her parties at Peter Piper Pizza, less hassle. They cook all the food, decorate and entertain the kids. I just have to show up, serve the food and cake, and pay. They also clean up, added bonus. The party went good, Kaydee really enjoyed herself. I didn't get to see her much during the party, she was out playing with her cousins. She had a great time. Her father and I got her a kids digital camera and tricycle. She loved them both and has been taking lots of pictures. I want to make a little slide show titled: "The World Thru the Eyes of Kaydee". Maybe I have a future photographer on my hands. I think she is going to be something like that, artistic. She really enjoys drawing, and dancing. Nothing like me, I couldn't draw anything to save my life. And I don't have any type of rhythm and balance for dancing.
Its funny how we want our children to somehow follow in our footsteps. I try to get Kaydee interactive with the computer, but no go. Sadly she doesn't seem to interested in it, unlike me when I was younger. Any time I had and a computer was nearby, I was on it. Its funny to think about that now, I would just look at encyclopedias, dictionaries, play OregoTrail, whatever I could. (Yes, this was before the Internet). Wow, so long ago.
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